A time warp to a forgotten era of TV
You know the feeling. You wake up, bleary-eyed, and turn on the telly and wonder what day it is.
Yesterday left me totally confused.
My dad's habit of ringing me up to sing a whole chorus of Happy Birthday on the big day was 24 hours too early. My wicked stepmother's fault apparently. She, strangely, disagrees. I expect nothing less than another rendition today. Having been thrown by their caterwauling – sorry, I mean, beautiful vocal harmonies – I turned on the TV and wondered, not what day it was, but what year.
Is that GMTV? Or even TVAM? No it's ITV1's Daybreak and I was not in breakfast TV time warp.
Cuddly presenters, plump sofas and warm bantering had taken the place of the more sombre approach of Adrian Chiles and Christine Bleakley. At this time of the day, what you need is fairly inane chatter... and there's plenty of it to be had here as the presenters opt for a chirpy, cheeky, lightweight approach. Here's oh-so-camp Richard Arnold who reveals that he's going to be on Strictly Come Dancing.
"I told them my preferred partner was Anton du Beke. A good sense of humour and a firm hand," he giggled. Cue pictures of Aled Jones and Kate Garraway when they appeared on the show.
We had veteran GMTV man Ross King in Hollywood to report on the MTV Awards, a chocolate truffle cake recipe from chef James Tanner and a feature on ladies' pants from Mark Heyes.
It's entertaining, but it does sit awkwardly when there's a big, serious news story – the family massacre in France was covered by chief reporter Richard Gaisford on the scene.
Still, for balance, there was a lot of chit-chat about Kate Garraway's new hairstyle.
Read Adam Postans' equally damning take on Daybreak and the rest of the week's TV in today's West County Life.